The Prodigal Reviewer Returns!

When I moved to America in the spring of 2014 I was without employment while waiting for my work authorization and so I made my first attempt at writing a novel. I went in without any great depth of planning, and after pounding away 40,000 words or so (of disjointed drivel, mostly) I gave up.

We all have a failed novel inside of us somewhere, don’t we?


One of my resolutions for 2016 though was to finish a first draft of a novel. A new novel, mind. I decided to let my past failure rest in peace as is rather than try and exhume the remains in ugly fashion.

This time around I’ve indulged in a lot more world-building and plotted far more intricately than before. I even have a color-coded plot outline on Excel now! I’ve nearly finished with the plotting now too, thank God.

It seems like it takes longer for me to roughly plot out the happenings of a chapter than actually write one. I’m itching to get into the trenches at this point.


The trenches seem quite fun from what I’ve heard about too!

While still finishing up my plotting, I’ve endeavored to try and write at least something every day. This comes per the advice of an insightful article from self-publishing Übermensch, Hugh Howey. That’ll be happening here.

So while chronicling my writing odyssey I’ve also decided to turn my hand back to reviewing self-published e-books as well. I have a Kindle again now, although the typing of this is coinciding with the exorbitant price increases of Kindle books on Amazon.

Rather than having to wade through a torrent of potential candidates on Amazon though I was lucky enough to have been emailed a few months ago by an author asking me to review his novel. Even better–it’s free!


The self-publishing Sarlaac of Amazon – where you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly driven mad by an abundance of literary cliches, nonsensical character motivations, underdeveloped vocabularies and shoddy formatting over a… thousand years.

As such I hope to have my review of  Seeking The Veil (Part 1) by Clifton Hill up by the end of the week. Until then!


Goodnight, Sweet Prince

Kaput. My beloved Kindle after two and a half years of faithful service has up and died. Despite always using a cover case, the screen has died and unfortunately the one-year warranty expired a while ago. Unfortunately there won’t be any more reviews on self-published ebooks for a while now until I purchase a new one, which probably won’t be for another couple of months.

Fortunately all the titles I have on my Kindle can be transferred to a new one and the Chicago public library system can handily fill my reading void for the time-being.

I will be getting in touch with Amazon on the off-chance that I might be able to get a replacement sent, but I’m not too hopeful.

“Birth of Blackheart” by Shant Karadijan

It took me quite a while to finish Birth of Blackheart by Shant Karadijan and then some time to finally set down my thoughts in a review. Originally, the synopsis on the Amazon page sounded intriguing enough: Shushana Godwill (Godwill – get it?) is chosen by higher powers to bring about destruction of the selfish and all-consuming mortal world. We all like anti-heroes in fantasy now don’t we? It sounds like a good read.

Birth of Blackheart

Unfortunately though, the story is all over the place. If there’s a fantasy trope you can think of then it’s probably included in here. Shushana is nothing but a simple country girl with feelings for the farmer boy who live down the road but her romantic feelings are frowned upon by her parents. I mean really frowned upon too – both her parents seem to hold some irrational hatred for her, particularly her father. No need to worry about it too much though, impending tragedy soon strikes and no-one is left alive from the live she once knew but her.

Then our young heroine ends up enslaved, working as handmaid to one of her evil captors, is possessed, gains magical powers, uncovers conspiracies, picks up companions who then disappear never to be heard of again, rules a pirate ship and finally battles her nemesis. Shushana even has a rapport her own wholly unique pet, a white zane—something akin to a komodo dragon—and the only one colored like that she’s ever seen. Why do all these fantasy protagonists have these snow white pets and familiars? Is there ever going to be someone who just has a mangy tabby cat missing half its tail with a pussy, weeping eye?

What does this animal say about our protagonist?

What does this animal say about our protagonist?

There is a lot going on here, an awful lot. That isn’t always a bad thing. Just look at epics like The Wheel of Time and The Belgariad to see how brilliant and engaging a long and eventful journey can be. The problem is that Birth of Blackheart is all over the place. New locales and storylines are introduced only to be discarded a couple of chapters later with no further reference made. The same with the ever-revolving cast of characters; it’s hard to gauge who is actually of any importance out of them all (Spoiler: hardly any of them).

Shushana as a character is also incredibly confusing and contradictory. Shy and bashful one moment and an extrovert the next. The host of male characters she meets throughout the story she is invariably hostile towards to begin with, only to quickly turn into feelings of sexual desire in the space of a couple of pages. Near the start of the novel she is enslaved, bemoaning her fate in the world and trading barbs with a fellow male prisoner, and later that night is soon making passes at him, getting drunk and completely forgetting any woes she may have. That male prisoner is never mentioned again once Shushana is freed. She suffers these mild wood swings near constantly, lurching between scorn and affection, and you never get a real insight or understanding of Shushana’s mind-set.

A totally inconsistent and volatile woman prone to unpredictable mood shifts? Poor characterization or the perfect description of a woman?

A totally inconsistent and volatile woman prone to unpredictable mood shifts? Poor characterization, or the perfect description of a woman?

Much of the dialogue, especially in the first half of the novel, is particularly stilted and unnatural too. My first impression on hearing Shushana and Oliev, her childhood sweetheart, speak as events began was that their conversation was nigh on Shakespearean. Bizarrely enough though, the clunky Austen-esque discourse is offset by fairly frequent outbursts of cursing which just seem odd and out-of-place in comparison.

To start drawing this review to a close, Birth of Blackheart is a story in an identity crisis. I’m not sure that Karadijan quite knew what exactly he wanted with his debut novel and thus was created a schizophrenic amalgamation of a host of different ideas and concepts. There’s a lack of focus throughout and it made me hard to focus on the story itself.

Each of the books that I’ve reviewed so far for Creepy Or Cool? I’ve begun reading with a fully open mind—that goes without saying when you’re reading self-published science fiction and fantasy books—but Birth of Blackheart was one that I didn’t enjoy. That said, this is just the opinion of one reviewer, and whilst I would like to think that my reviews to date have been informative, if you do think the novel sounds interesting then read a sample yourself.

Many people daydream about writing the book which has been knocking around their head for years, but few actually have the willpower or dedication to put pen to paper—or fingers to keyboard—and actually do it. I commend Shant Karadijan for doing so but really can’t recommend this book to anyone.

A general update

I just finished The Hero of Ages by Brandon Sanderson–for those voyeurs amongst you, you can monitor my reading activities through my Goodreads account–which wrapped up his excellent Mistborn Trilogy. The past month I’ve been compelled to work my way through those books and admittedly have been neglecting my reviewing duties. That said, I’m 8% through Birth of Blackheart right now and should hopefully be finished with it by the end of the week. There are some fantastic e-books on my radar for my next review subject too.

I’ve also added a new section to the blog, “Other Writing,” to highlight some of the work I’ve been doing covering video games for Elite Joystick and other things.

Hopefully I’ll have a review up then in the next few days!

A lack of activity

There’s not been any updates for a fair while and that’s because I’ve been reading The Well Of Ascension by Brandon Sanderson lately rather than anything self-published. I think it’s an earned reward.

I’m also getting married this Friday!

I should hopefully be able to start something new next week – message me if you’d like to suggest anything in particular.